Davins Comedy Blog

SUPER HEROES DON’T WEAR JACKETS - Joe Currie (Davin's Den)


                                  
Halloween is in several days and the big Compound party is tonight.

The Compound parties are always a blast, and three years ago Anthony Cumia thought themes would be good idea. In the past years, we had an Eighties theme, a Jaws theme, and a TV show theme. This year it will be commercials.

As I get ready for the party tonight I am looking back. When I was a kid it was a major deal, why?? You got to dress like an asshole, bang on doors and ask for treats. I wish I could do that every day.

You would plan what you wanted to be and thought it would be the coolest costume ever, and that day came, you were a super hero.

You thought when you rang that door bell people wouldn’t know if you were there for candy, or to save the day. I was planning to tell people don’t worry citizen that there was nothing to fear that I’m just here for a tasty snack.

I was a super hero and I was invincible, and nothing could stop me,,, except for the cold. A cool fall afternoon meant a jacket from Mom. I explained to my mortal mother that Super Heroes don’t wear jackets. She explained to me that they do if they want to trick or treat.

You know what it’s like when you ring the door bell and the lady asks you who are you supposed to be? And you have to open a snorkel jacket and show her an “S”. I should have just said Eskimo and called it day.

I never really gave out the candy when I was married, that job fell to my wife as with my schedule I never get home until midnight. That being said I did make sure that the candy was top notch because bad candy means eggs and shaving cream.
  
When I was a kid when you would get shit candy, an apple (razor or no razor) or pennies this was a guaranteed spot on the hit list for that night. So I knew if I did not want my house to look like an omelet or a Gillette commercial it’s Milky Way all the way.

Halloween night was fun, egging and spraying shaving cream over everything in site was a pisser. One year my Mom even bought me shaving cream, as long as I wore a jacket.

As I am writing this I had a thought, do kids today even go out egging?? I think they just have an app on their phone for that now. Well another lost art gone to the wayside.

As I got older I stopped with Halloween, I was not one of those guys at eighteen that would bang on the door and the lady would open it, and say who are you supposed to be?? Stoned and hungry lady, give me a three musketeers.
For years after I never participated in Halloween or dressed up for parties. I could not be bothered. The good thing about Halloween parties though is it gives chicks the excuse to wear the skimpiest stuff they can which is good as candy I say.

The one thing about this time of year is I sometimes forget its Halloween time and I will go to the diner and wonder why these people are dressed like assholes? Then it dawns on me that I’m the asshole who can’t read a calendar.   

For the past ten years I have gone back to dressing up at parties because you look like an uptight dick if you don’t. I am actually am an uptight dick, but better to look like someone else that night. I don’t want to give away what I am wearing at the party tonight but I will be in a tee shirt and it may be cold at the Compound tonight. I am going to wish I had a jacket.

Mom was right again.     

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